Lessons for a father - Que Será, Será

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Just like leadership, there are multiple ways of parenting as well. Neither is right or wrong necessarily, but the result might be. Styles of parenting, or leadership, I think, can be divided into 3 major categories:

1. When we try and control everything
2. When we provide inspiration and an environment for success to happen
3. When we practice a hands-off attitude and let events occur

All 3 have their pros and cons. 

If we were to mould our parenting and leadership style on the first type, trying to control everything usually leads to a decline in mutual trust and a sense of confinement. Those we lead, as parents or professionally, might feel stifled in the long run and the relationship and growth usually goes haywire. 

The second type allows us the creation of an environment for success and doing things that inspire others to give their best. It is a very hard task requiring a very dedicated effort while spending a lot of time. We have to, very deliberately, create an environment that focuses on camaraderie, clarity, openness and trust. Only then can success really happen.

The last one requires, possibly, the least amount of labor on our part. It might also be termed a "laid back" approach to parenting and leadership. All we have to do is train ourselves to believe that we cannot influence people or the overall environment around us. Just like the song - Que Será, Será, whatever will be, will be. At that point, we stop being leaders and start representing the proverbial cog in the wheel. 

We see a lot of the latter in modern day sociopolitical setting as well as, sometimes and sadly, in our professional lives. With the right to express our views, we change from do-ers to commentators. We become experts, overnight, with multiple opinions and forget the 2 very basic principles of leadership:

1. Fence dwellers cannot be leaders. For us to be able to lead, we have to be a part of what is going on - a system, a game, an event, whatever it might be. Being in one does not mean being blind. Being a part of the system would allow us to learn the rules and limitations so we could break them if we need to and make the system better.
2. For us to be leaders, we need the company of a few people that trust us. Without the belief of those people around us, we are not leaders; we are just another person with, may be, a bunch of theoretical nonsense going on in our heads.

The coming holidays might be a very good chance to lay back and think about moving away from the extremes a little bit. Let us give ourselves a chance to breathe, think, create, help and do. 

Let us all inspire people to succeed by themselves, while knowing enough to offer a helping hand if need be.

What kind of a leader do you want to be? Let me know. I would love to hear from you.