Lessons for a father - Parkinson's Law (Part 2)

If you, as I do very much, like working on fun things, you would know the meaning of Mr. C. Northcote Parkinson's statement.

Widely appreciated as the Law Of Delay, it is just one of many ways that allows people like me to, possibly, not work on things we do not want to work on.

Let us be honest though, and not let our hopes wander. All of us work on things, daily, that we do not like to do. Even the best of parents would not like to change diapers. In a professional setting, no amount of leadership experience can make you like giving negative feedback or letting someone go. We do it because it needs to be done.

The law was laid out for bureaucrats but holds true in just about any setting. 

Take for example the fact that I have been delaying going to the doctor for many months now to get my physical done. Is it OK that I am doing that? No. I am delaying meeting up with my physician because I hate going to a doctor. I justify it by saying that I am in good physical condition and doctors would find something wrong that is really not there.That will not be the case, I am sure. It is just my unfair way of handling the issue.

Teaching our son to say a few words or count and working with our professional teams to get better can come across as something that can be put off to another day. That day will have its own set of challenges and by the time we are ready to do what needed to be done weeks ago, life would have moved on. Sadly, that is how it usually transpires.

So here is an extension of my previous post that gave me a lifetime to learn new things (read it here: Parkinson's Law (Part 1)). Even if we had all the time in the world to learn and get better at whatever it is that we do, it has to start somewhere and at some time. It seems like "NOW" is a very opportune moment.  

All thanks to Mr. Cyril Northcote Parkinson, formerly of the British Civil Service, of course.

Lessons for a father - Parkinson's Law (Part 1)

Image Courtesy: Flickr(superslimmy)

Of all the laws that we have been exposed to since we were young and, among them, by people that have done us the huge honor of devising multiple laws, Parkinson's are my favorite (I apologize profusely, Sir Isaac Newton! You were a close second.).

There are quite a few of these laws by Cyril Northcote Parkinson a British Civil Servant in the 1950s, and all of them seem to have a common strain - that of increasing efficiency by decreasing bureaucracy in our daily lives. 

I like the laws because it keeps the humor intact while giving us an insight into how inefficient we all can really become. All of us, at some point in our lives, have experienced, first hand, the presence of Parkinson's law #1. 

Simply named after the man himself, it suggests that "[our] work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion". 

We procrastinate or we have a bad day or we had a restless night (try having a sick kid for 2 weeks and come to work all fresh and raring to go!). It might even be something as extreme (and scary!) as not loving what you do. Whatever the reason be, all of us have bowed to the supremacy of Parkinson's law at least once in our lives.

Mr. Parkinson, in his now famous essay in the Economist and a book, has provided multiple examples of why his theory is correct. I want to, however, look at the law under a different light.

What if the work was something I loved doing? What if the time that I had to complete it was my whole life? In other words, consider this: I love to learn new things. Wouldn't the law still hold true if instead of a few hours or days, I took an entire life to finish my work - to learn? I think it will.

So a law, formulated in the 1950s, has given me a very "legal" opportunity to learn and get better. There is nothing stopping me, neither God nor Government - since both seem to be on my side now, from being the best son, husband, father, friend, student, writer, software developer, blogger, mentor, or whatever else I want to be. I do not need to be the best in the next few years. Thanks to Mr. Cyril Northcote Parkinson, formerly of the British Civil Service, I have my entire life!

Lessons for a father - The Missing I In A Team

There is no "I" in a team.

I have heard that so many times now that it has started to lose its charm. 

Literally, the letter "I" does not form a part of the word "Team". That is correct. 

What I do not agree with is the figurative meaning of the missing "I". The phrase suggests that constituents of a team should not hold on to their individual aspirations and work solely towards the benefit of their team.

Do not get me wrong. I love being a part of my team, but that fact should not stop anyone from doing what is best for themselves. Also, the limitations of a team should not inhibit individual extra-ordinariness.

True teamwork happens when individuals compliment each other and become good cohesively. Take for example someone that is great at software development but has a hard time giving a presentation. An environment that fosters teamwork can help the person remove that weakness. The weakness or the strength, however, still belongs to the individual. Hence the removal of such a weakness is also the person's responsibility. A team can only provide the right tools for us to get better.  True teams allow for individual growth, for aspirations and ambitions to flourish based on a very simple notion:

What you do should be good for you AND the team that you belong to.

An individual with the right combination of intent and intelligence can take a team to very high levels of success. They can also make sure that the other "I"'s of the team do not feel an obligation to tow the team line. 

In the absence of such diversity, where individual capabilities, ideas and aspirations do not hold significance to others, success cannot flourish. For us to take the road from good to great, we must be ready to break rules, stereotypes and status-quo. And for that to happen, the "I" in the team has to take the road less traveled and make an appearance.

Think about Apple. You cannot but picture the greatness of Steve Jobs. Take Microsoft for an example, but try to think about it without Bill Gates. Or an India without Gandhi or an America without Martin Luther King or a South Africa without Mandela. These individuals provided teams and organizations and nations an opportunity to be great. Part of a team, yes, but individually mighty!

Lessons for a father - Loving The Uncomfortable

I like being comfortable. It allows me to be in a state where I can think clearly and with a lot of confidence. Once I am in my comfort zone, I am very certain of success.

There is a problem with being in my comfort zone for too long though. I start to stagnate. And we all know what stagnation does. It makes things stink. That, unfortunately, is true with people as well. Not literally of course, but professionally.

It becomes almost pertinent then, that we strive towards getting out of our comfort zone. Being uncomfortable should become the order of our day and doing things that we do not like doing should top our list.

For some of us that might mean talking to strangers (give someone you do not know a compliment). For others it might translate to wearing a tie and a jacket. For the risk takers amongst us, it might be asking a person of interest out on a date or the hardest thing of all - apologizing.

There are multiple ways of being uncomfortable, with the intent to improve as a person and a professional. 

As a parent, trying to reason with a toddler that does not give in to reason or logic can be a very uncomfortable position to be in. How do you convince someone who cannot live without eating that piece of paper that it might do him harm? You learn. You adapt and sometimes you give in to being the parent that made the kid cry.

There are a few rules I follow that help me get into my zone of discomfort which usually leads to me finding out something new about myself. Here they are:

• Be curious: Ask a whole lot of What-Ifs.
• Be passionate about being better: This helps me in attempting things I have not tried before.
• Be patient: Being uncomfortable is not easy. Be ready to fail before succeeding.
• Be committed: Failure should not deter you from trying again.
• Celebrate your success: You changed something about yourself. You learned something new. Your relationship got better with someone. Celebrate this.

There is usually nothing better than finding something about ourselves that we were previously unaware of. I was not sure about my blogging skills before I started writing these. I took a risk and I must admit that this has been an eye opener.

Has being uncomfortable led to your personal growth? If so, how?