Lessons for a father - What's your superfood?

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What do you think the following have in common?

• Low fat or fat-free plain yogurt
• Eggs  
• Nuts 
• Kiwis
• Quinoa 
• Beans
• Salmon
• Broccoli
• Sweet potatoes
• Berries

The list, above, is of super-foods. In other words, these are some foods that people may choose, or turn to, if they wanted to get healthier. I am pretty sure that there are more of these.  I also feel that we can all do with a bit more of good health and a longer, more fulfilling, life.

But, what if we were bent just temporarily out of shape? What super-food would we turn to then? 

We all have moments when we shun our wellness and do things that we regret. Instead of reason, we choose momentary insanity, instead of choosing to look for good in people, we seek out characteristics that might require more work. 

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had a spoonful of super-food potency lying around that would help us calm down, and get the wellness of our head and heart back? Wouldn't it help if a single dose of wellness existed that would bring back our leadership, and human skills, back on track?

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A cup of well made chai does great things for me. Does it have the right blend of vitamins, proteins and weight controlling ingredients? Not really. What it does do, for me at least, is give me something to concentrate on, and relish, than let the moment take over my being.

People might feel the same way about a piece of chocolate, or a walk out in the sun, or a cold glass of water or meditation. A super-food, meant to bring us out of temporary loss of control, might have a very temporary influence over us, but gaining back control over our emotions and behavior can have far reaching, and often positive, consequences. It might even help us turn a bad day at the office into, possibly, a more bearable one.

Here is what I would recommend then. Keep these super-foods handy. If you are comfortable with sharing the "not so good" moments with your team, let them know about things that help you come out of the rut. Yes, it shows vulnerability, but I have a feeling that it will increase the level of trust within the team - that cement that binds components and people to function as one! And, what better way of creating a happy team than a good cup of chai enjoyed while sitting out in the sun?

What is your superfood? What do you turn to in times of immediate need?

Lessons for a father - Who Do You Work For?

Never stop writing your own story, your own way. – When writing the story of your life, never, ever let someone else hold the pen.  Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and ambitions.  Because the way you live each day is a sentence in the story of your life.  Each day you make a choice as to whether the sentence ends with a period, a question mark, or an exclamation point.

I read this on a blog called Marc and Angel Hack Life (here is the link). It struck a cord because of a belief that I have always had. We all are answerable only to ourselves.

Let us work on the premise that belief is true. Can we, then, allow anyone else to determine how we lead our lives? Can we surrender ourselves to someone else's idea of how we should succeed and fail? No. But a lot of us do that almost daily.

We use phrases like "they told me to do it that way" or better still "we have always done it that way".

What we do, when we pass the ownership of an event or of a decision on to someone else is give them control over ourselves. We convince ourselves that someone, superior than us, at least in our minds, has a better chance of making us successful. We therefore, at some level, hold the belief that its those others that we work for.

Is that really the case though? Aren't we, all of us, working really for ourselves? Don't we represent our own fears, values and aspirations? Why then would we be willing to hand over the remote control of our lives to others, even for a moment? Yet, we all do it. Why?

I think we do it because it is easy. We do it because as long as "it is not our fault" when goals are not met we are fine. We do it because we are scared of failure and have never thought about rebounding from one. We do it because we hate conflict. We do it because we do not want to show our vulnerability. We do it because we want to do it.

Think about it. We believe in God because we want to. We work on becoming good citizens or leaders or parents because we want to. We win because we want to and,  sometimes, we lose because we want to. 

We become what we want to become. So how is it that somewhere on the path towards our goal, we let someone else reset our goals and paths for us? We fail ourselves by doing that.

Let us start a trend then. Today and now. Let us ask ourselves if what we are about to do taking us even a step closer to our goal. If it is, we should go ahead and do it. If not, we should not. Let us wrest back control of our lives from whoever we have given it to and become owners of our own destinies.

While doing that let us ask ourselves every day: Who do you work for? If the answer is anything but "Myself", it might be time to rethink. 

What else do you think we can do to take back ownership of our lives and decisions?

Lessons for a father - Deliberately Created Simplicity

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Simplicity is beautiful.

It is also powerful. So much so, that authors have written about it, poets have dedicated odes to it and great singers and songwriters have sung about it. And, I crave it!

That desire and a recent training session on a project management methodology and a book all pointed in the same direction for me this last week. In other words, I have to train myself and those that I can influence, to think and work towards what I wish to call DCS, or, Deliberately Created Simplicity.

What I propose we do is pretty straightforward in theory:

• Break every problem down into a collection of small, but easier, problems.
• Make the problem statements understandable for everyone, so anyone can play a role.
• Work on these small and, yes, simple things.
• Make goals very achievable, tangible and real.
• Appreciate and applaud the effort that everyone puts in.
• Failure might be minimal but still create a mechanism so it is not repeated.
• Most importantly, focus on the present.

DCS is going to allow me break seemingly complicated tasks into ones that I find a lot more doable. 

For example, the desire to re-imagine our basement is going to give way to "let us replace the lock on the door of the basement today". There we go! I do not have to think of the entire basement. Replacing that lock, on the other hand, should not take more than 10 minutes. Oh yes, I can do that!

At work, for example, "work towards increasing the quality of overall communication" might give way to a much smaller project of "working towards having no spelling mistakes in our emails". Important, but smaller in size and scope, with a very clear definition of success.

The world is growing smaller in size and very complicated in definition. I am regularly impressed with people that work on fantastically complex problems. Just like them, I am a student of my art and love to work on real and hard issues. Something tells me, however, that time has come for me to rewire my brain. Not all complex issues need equally intricate solutions. E.F. Schumacher, in one of his most influential quotes, suggested "any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction". 

Challenge accepted Mr. Schumacher!!

Is there a part of your life that you can simplify? If so, let me know!

Lessons for a father - Geography And Stupidity Are Unrelated

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It is actually very funny to be human. We fight everyday to prove, to each other, how different we are, and completely ignore how similar we really are. 

Let us look at the instance where we all make stupid mistakes. It doesn't matter where we are from, where we currently live and what we do for a living. We either already, or soon will, have the privilege of making mistakes.

But our propensity to be stupid, sometimes, is not the only thing that makes us similar. 

Most of us want to improve and build upon what we already have. People who do not have anything would probably want a few things. Those, on the other hand, that have had a bit of luck would want to be luckier. Those who truly give would, I have a feeling, like to give more. How about those who are happy or sad? Both would probably want the same thing: more happiness! 

Point being, we are similar in wanting things. That makes us behave like each other. It seems like our needs and geography are unrelated too.

But, can our origins determine what we can or cannot do if we wanted innovate or lead?

Having been on the receiving side of an experience like that, I can say, with a bit of experience, that the answer is a very temporary yes and a more long lasting no. 

If we want to practice leadership with passion, ethics, courage, integrity, humility and faith, our current or past set of latitudes and longitudes really do not matter.

If we want to innovate, solve problems and be willing and available to help, the only thing that matters, it seems, is that our head and heart are in the right place.

It looks like, then, that stupidity is not the only thing that binds us and makes our original and current address meaningless! 

What are some of the other things that make us similar?