Lessons for a father - Respect. Reward. Recognition.

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Leadership is very simple. At least theoretically. Practicing it on a daily basis, constantly, is one of the hardest thing we could be doing. 

For us to continue the privilege of leading, it is pertinent that we keep adapting with changing times, teams and context. What might have seemed to be a great idea a few years ago might not, now, be something that works. There are principles of leadership, however, that have withstood the test of time.

I have been very lucky to have been brought up in a family that rewarded good behavior. We received everything from pats on the back to a life changing, hysteria inducing Cricket kit. Punishment was a very real part of our lives but we had to cross the proverbial line by miles for our parents to get there. 

More often than not, the concentration, and in hindsight very intentionally, was on promoting and encouraging good behavior. Good results in school exams, studying for them or finishing our homework in time, learning a new thing, respect for our elders and following of good habits were all rewarded. 

The intention was to look for good behavior. Once the definition of acceptable behavior was set by our earliest leaders, there was no confusion over what was expected from us.

We are trying to do the same with our son. Even at this early age, he is being encouraged to gesture the words "please" and "thank you" to ask for and in response to getting what he wants. His attempt to pronounce the word "Apple" or the color "Puple" (purple) get a small applause or a couple of kisses (from his mother usually). Are there tantrums? Oh! yes. But, very intentionally, we try to concentrate on what is going right.

At work too, the focus is on what is good and right. Actions that are in the best interest of our clients and our organization are met with respect, reward and recognition. It, almost automatically, encourages us to do what is expected of us.

Easy explanation of a great leadership principle. Changing our mindset to make this work is a hard task but one that would bear great results!

Do you lead by the principle of the 3 R's? What has been your experience?

Lessons for a father - Democracy At Work

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Democracy is beautiful. It gives all its members a chance to voice their opinion but also, better yet, to act on their choices.

The problem with democracy, however, is that it does not stop its followers from making bad choices. It allows, in other words, for failure to happen. To deal with failure and bad choices, there are, in due time of course, second chances.

India just went through its biggest national elections yet. And, it was inspirational. The way the elections were managed and the large numbers in which people came out to choose their leaders was nothing short of awe-inspiring. Time, however, will decide whether, we as a people, chose well.

That got me thinking. The constituents of a good team would usually behave as being a part of a well functioning democracy. Here is what I think would constitute such a team:

• People choose to work under a leader.
• Everyone participates in the decision making machinery.
• The leader, while representing the team, also makes sure an environment of growth is created and sustained.
• A mechanism for regular and open feedback is created, followed and appreciated.
• There are indicators and metrics that lets the entire team know how all of them, including the leader, are performing.
• A leader is also responsible to nurture the team and create future leaders.

Just like any government that runs a democracy, the success of a team, or a country, can take a huge step in the wrong direction if the aspirations of the people and that of the leadership are misaligned.

The great Abraham Lincoln once said -

As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.

I completely, and wholeheartedly, agree with the great man. The idea of democracy or of a well functioning team is rooted in the same value structure, that we all work, for the people, by the people and of the people.

Are you a fan of a democratically run team?

Lessons for a father - What's your story?

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Everyone has a story. Good or bad, long or short, full of anger or inspiration, there always is a story. And stories, usually, are wonderful. They tell about times, places and experiences. If we give the story a chance, it can teach us things, in minutes, that would, otherwise, take years to learn. So, it should go without saying that, I like good stories!

So, while the oft repeated stories of Apple and Microsoft are legendary, in their own right, there are also equally inspirational stories of people who choose doing what is right rather than doing what is easy, of leaders that provided help and guidance in times of need, of hard work, of fights against diseases and against adversity. There is a great story everywhere. The question of our keenness and intention to listen stands.

While we celebrate our mothers today (which I find very funny because we should be doing that everyday), it becomes pertinent, that just like our mothers do, we begin to respect uniqueness in ourselves and others. That acceptance can be a very good first step in forging relationships that stand the test of time and allow us to exercise leadership and influence.

The most amusing part of our story is that they are ours. We live through it to tell the tale. And every good fight makes for a beautiful story!

Part of my story is here. There is some more. I try to learn from everyone because that gives me a much better perspective on what was done and what was not. There is much to learn but I am lucky to be surrounded by people that have very fascinating stories. I hope I can listen to all of them before finishing mine.

What's your story? Tell me either by commenting on this blog or sharing it with me here.

Lessons for a father - I Want To Remain A Caterpillar

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Caterpillars have been called "eating machines", and eat leaves voraciously. They shed their skins many times before getting to the next stage of their lives. Ultimately after a lot of consumption, one day, they might turn into a beautiful butterfly.

They are very interesting creatures and their lifestyle has much to offer in form of lessons. In some respects, they resemble the student in all of us. The persistent consumption of leaves can easily be a metaphor for our hunger to learn and accumulate knowledge. The metamorphosis into a butterfly can be a depiction of our transformation into leaders after we have shed our skin or adapted to changing needs multiple times.

Here is my problem. A butterfly seems to symbolize an end of the learning period. I am not OK with that.

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No matter what it is that we do, we cannot, and must not, stop learning. Like the caterpillar, our lives should be full of relentless hunger for knowledge and every success, but a step, towards exposing ourselves to new things and challenges...more leaves anyone?

The destination is important, but the journey can be far more interesting and enlightening.

Let us, therefore, become lifelong caterpillars. Let us invest ourselves in the pursuit of knowledge and learning. Let us become good great at our art and never, ever, rest on our laurels. One achieved goal should show us the door to the next one. One improvement in our lives should provide an opportunity to become better at something else.

Yes, I do wish to remain that leaf eating creature that works towards its metamorphosis. Whether it is as a father, a son, a husband or a professional, I want to remain a caterpillar.