We were blessed with a beautiful son a few months ago. Like many parents, our intention was to be able to create a process and enable our new-born to follow it. Diaper change at 8:15 pm, milk at 8:25 pm and so on and so forth. Like almost all parents, we realized, soon enough, that our best laid plans are usually answered with smiles, tears or sleep. The sense of randomness finds it hard to get accepted in a household being run by two über-geeks. Then it hit us. We were being taught a very important lesson.
No matter how hard we tried to maintain balance and control change, there will always be a case of "the unknown". Being a good parent (or being anything really) is more about dealing with what you do not know or expect rather that what you are good at. Our toddler may or may not wake up in the middle of the night; he may or may not find it easy to adjust at daycare; we would have to make and implement decisions based on the outcome of such situations.
As an extension, we also realized that the same holds true for just about anything in our professional lives as well. That particular server (or database or switch) that we are so dependent on may or may not work as expected tomorrow. The network that allows us the freedom to be virtually anywhere in the world (and allow me to write this) may be down. Our behavior is determined, more often than not, by situations that, as scary as it sounds, are a bit out of our control.
What do we do then?
How do, solution and structure obsessed people like us, deal with a variable in an equation that almost always craves to be balanced?
We did what we do best. We created an algorithm. Here is our way of doing it:
No matter how hard we tried to maintain balance and control change, there will always be a case of "the unknown". Being a good parent (or being anything really) is more about dealing with what you do not know or expect rather that what you are good at. Our toddler may or may not wake up in the middle of the night; he may or may not find it easy to adjust at daycare; we would have to make and implement decisions based on the outcome of such situations.
As an extension, we also realized that the same holds true for just about anything in our professional lives as well. That particular server (or database or switch) that we are so dependent on may or may not work as expected tomorrow. The network that allows us the freedom to be virtually anywhere in the world (and allow me to write this) may be down. Our behavior is determined, more often than not, by situations that, as scary as it sounds, are a bit out of our control.
What do we do then?
How do, solution and structure obsessed people like us, deal with a variable in an equation that almost always craves to be balanced?
We did what we do best. We created an algorithm. Here is our way of doing it:
- Be ready for a random and unexpected event.
- Stop wishing for complete control. You will never get it.
- Involve ONLY those people that can offer tangible help.
- Keep the communication going, maybe even go over the top with keeping people in the loop.
- Create a backup structure (in our case, if I am too tired to be potentially awake during the entire night, we make sure my wife goes to bed earlier than usual to be available during the wee hours of the morning so I can sleep for a few hours before going to work with her).
- Whatever you do, do NOT panic! That never helps and will probably make the situation worse.
- This is the hardest of it all: A part of the solution will be based on 2 words: Hope and Conviction.
Well done Pi. As the father of 2 (2.5yrs and 4.5yrs) and one on the way I couldn't agree with you more. #2 in my opinion is the key to your algorithm (even though I can't spell algorithm without spellcheck).
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more posts.
Wonderful! I'm making my husband read it, for tips on how to manage our 2.5 year old! :D
ReplyDeleteSakshi, thank you for reading the post and visiting my blog. Do let me know what your husband thinks! If yours is like ours, management might not be easy :)
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